Friday, August 26, 2005

ラクス様 ー Lacus-sama>

ラクス ラクス ラクス ラクス ラクス ラクス ラクス ラクス ラクス ラクス ラクス !!!!


I love Lacus. Her speech in GSD 44 sparked me off, I'm all hers. I am her slave now, forever. =)

I'm not supposed to post this picture here, but oh well... I love this pic sooo~~~ much that I need to share it in the blog!

This avatar is taken from here I did a little sharpening to make it look... SHarP! =D 赦してくれ~~

Hell of a day, combined humanities Prelims... Wonder why we have an earlier prelim than any other NORMAL school? Coz the principal wanted us to have more time to study for out O levels, if we did badly or did not. ANyway, I appreciate her forward-looking (?). But Im stressed out. I've been having headache since yesterday, and the only reason I could dig out is the stuffing of geography and social studies stuffs inside my head for juz 1 day. =(

Worst off, we will be having physics and chemistry paper 2 next week!!! Im shitty fucked up. Yet, I've not touch my books. I've been dreaming all day(not sleeping), watching animations and adoring the sky.... (bLuE bLuE SKy~~~)

That was when I watched Gundam Seed Destiny Episode 44. Most anticipating episode I've ever wanted!~~ The clashes of 2 Lacus. WooOhHooo~!~~~ Off course, our real Lacus won the speech war. Mia Campbell was left speechless, and I felt sympathetic for her... since she's gonna be disposed by the eVillIsh Dullindal Gilbert. 可哀想. =(

Downloaded Mahou sensei Negima 24~26. Completed except Epi 23, no fansub groups did that. Anyway, a heart-throbbing and emotionally-driven ending. Never expected Asuna is acquinted with the Thousand Masters (or Nagi Springfield, Negi Springfield's father.... Nagi and Negi... lOLx)Anyway, Nagi kinda got hurt and he disappeared... Gotta find out from the manga what really happened to him, which means 3 more months before I really allowed myself to touch those sacred books... ~~~ 頑張れましょう!!! There seems to be a black-haired boy, same height and supposedly same age as Neji, in the manga. Really wanna find out~~~~~~!!! ArGh!~~

personal part:

私を憎しみ 嫌いってとしても、平気になる。もう 気になる事はしない。大丈夫だから。

I know my jap sux, but I managed to express my feeling to the best. Oh well~~

It doesn't really matter anymore. Afterall, I don't wish to know anything about this world, the complext feelings, the ugly side of humans. It's better not to see. I am running away, but I don't mind. In time to come, I might be able to face such feeling. It doesn't matter. 本当に。

And Ive to apologise. Im sorry... to whoever wants the apology. =) There are many whom Ive offended, but I never did remember who it was, and I never say it. Thus, here is my sincere apologies, accept it or not is ur choice. この言葉は無駄じゃない。

Thursday, August 18, 2005



















And I suck!

Screwed up my piano exam. BYe bye Grade 6 certificate. =(

It was wrong not to practise on the piano for even a second.

Regrets.... =(

Damn the stupid fucking hands.

Succumb to the harsh coldness of the confine room. Can't even act according to what my brain told it. The nervous system is at fault.

I hate myself.

Everything went wrong today.

Step on somebody's show. SHe looked pretty upset.

Cramped the MRT with my fucking idiotic big big big bag

Walk around Plaza SIngapura with the school uniform, people eyeing me with strange glances.

I hate myself.

Why can't I start my revision?

Friday, August 12, 2005


OH MY gOdzZ!!! I cant believe it....!!! I got an A1 for my CHINESE O LEVEL?? IS THAT FOR REAL?? *blink blink* ...

Oh well, I can't reconfirm if I really get it. But anyway, It was really beyong my imagination. I got all depress because of my oral that time, that I really went into depression, literally. But, it seems, I was right afterall. My Chinese Oral results definitely sucks. Merit. *bleH* Stupid fucking mouth. Stupid fucking urine.

Now I'm blaming my urine (please dun get all gross-looked face). If I didn't drink that whole plastic bottle of jasmine green tea, I won't be holding that amount of liquid within my bladder for at least 3 hrs, and cause my mouth and brain to get all shocked when they said "superstarsZ". Urine Makes Wonder.

And I still remember how frustrated and irritated I was today's morning. I had mentally + physically prepared to re-take my chinese. This proves the almighty GoDz do really exist!!! *blinkey blinkey* But I wonder, if this is all a dream? When I wake up, ... =( I never got to check the paper, im getting anxious... =(

I shall erase all uncertainties now, and enjoy this wonderful dream... *flies* It seems I secure (?) an A... English is my next next next enemy... *ScreAmS* Why IS there English???????? WHy WhY? My english always, well basically almost everytime, faIls!!! When can I get a rest???

I want to play games!!! GAMES!!! FINAL FANTASY!!! MAPLE STORY!!! WHATEVER!!! BUt ive deleted maple story liao... =(

and to make things worse out of worst, I got a piano practical exam next thursday, 18/8 ... DaMn It!! it seems that exam will never ever be over!!! And I have yet to perfect my 3rd selected piece and my Aural... (or was it Oral?? cant remember the name).. My singing sucks. I will just be embarassing myself down there!

It seems as if whenever a setback came, or rather a failure, one will tend to push the blame to others. Well, I think it is okay to do that. =). Why? Coz if we don't, we will just be harder on ourself, and we can't move on, not from that spot. And nothing will happen if we just stand there, blaming ourself. However, it is not healthy to be always pushing the blame. One will be unrealistic when one refuses to admit his wrongs. And he can't grow and learn from the mistake. This is how the world works I think.

One more surprise for myself. I spent the time yesterday for my studying for Combine Humanitites Mock Exam, to search for *ahem* pictures. =) I won't mention his name. His own picture that he had took a lot of effort (i think) to conceal, and I was determined to dig out him. After several attempts, I finally found it!!! *whistles* Well, I won't post his classics here, but anyway, it was fun to find out. HaHAz =D

Lastly, I hope I can start studying. My physics, English, a Lil of Chemistry, Biology, and definitely Social Studies. WHat have I left out?

Thursday, August 11, 2005

O Level English Oral>

Well, today's the big big day. Had the Oral today. :( I won't say that I did very good, but at least I didn't stumble like I did when I went for the Chinese Oral.

At least we didn't get back the chinese results today, which I considered as a consolence. At least I could concentrate on the oral, rather than the idea of having re-test... T.T

Well, from what I remember, I said 'durian fruit' and 'curry puff party' for the picture description. Hey, the teachers said to say whatever we liked. So, without any hesistation, I just blabbered it out. The heck care with relations!! If I dun say it out, I might get mouth constipation and I won't be able to think properly, and thus, my oral will be the same like the chinese. Which of course, I would rather die than to let it happen AGAIN!

One thing to note from the examiners, the 'rather intelligent-and-experienced teacher on my left was very spontaneous. While the young-and-looking-serenade teacher on my right was... quiet. I get the chill when I looked at her. Bad experience, and it seems as if I could only get the attention of the 1st teacher. /. .

I might get too despondent tomorrow, what with the social studies and geography mock exams, and... the release of the chinese results. And i might not be able to blog... ~.~ whatever le lar!! at least i feel some freedom in writing, and the openess from my heart to be truthful to myself.

I realise that when one is truthful to oneself, the ability to be open-hearted is very wide. (not sure if i make sense here, oh well...)

I think I sprained my still-healing left ankle again. It bloated up a little. I was prepared to run tomorrow ( i mean pe.), looks like... I will still run slowly. =)Ms Agnes(strange surname ... >.<) had been, I think, pissed off at me for just sitting down at the bench looking at the scenary... It's just a hunch, my my premonition is somehow accurate, so it would be best if I could just get my ass up and exercise...

sore jya, needa rush off and finish social studies remaining chapters and the yet-to-be-touched geography textbook... =(

Monday, August 08, 2005


damn long piece of shit shitted here.

Today is National Day's Eve. Tomorrow is National Day! And that means
HOLIDAYS!!!! We won't have school til Thursday!~~ YeaH~
Weird thing though, this is the most boring National Day I ever had in
my Secondary Life. Must be because of the humidity in the morning, or did I
wake up too early??

I'm a traitor. Not a patriot. Im leaving the country if I ever had a
change. WHy? cOz there is no Four Seasons here, no SUmmer, no Spring, No
Autumn, NO WINTER!! NO SNOW??!!! I wan SnoW!!!~~

Tokin about Patriotism, Japan is one country that really showed that. I had watched "Hiroshima Part I" on Sunday 7.30. It was rather depressing and... somehow I feel sympathetic.

As everyone knows, hiroshima was bombed with the first atomic bomb by the Americans during World War II. Let's just not talk about who was right, who was wrong. The fact is, the atomic was plunged and killed many many people. On 5th August 19?? (sry for my lack of information), Ernola Gay was dropped. That atomic bomb gave out a flash of white light, and heated everything beneath up up to 4000 degress (as what I have heard of...), after that a force of heat will spread to the surroundings. People directly under the bomb vanished, black markings remains where they were.

During WWII, all Japaneses, females; old; young; (i think) were trained to defend their own country and were prepared to sacrifice themselves for the country. There were also suicide bombers soldiers. They were trained to plunge themselves to the enemies' tanks when commanded, and trigger the bomb.

I hadn't see this kinda patriotism in my whole life, except in manga. And I thought, those mangas were just exaggerating and lies were hidden beneath. Looks like I am wrong, hellda WRONG!

I am going to watch the Part II again, a nice documentaries. Especially to a traitor to me... D=

Coming back to the reality, I am here sitting in front of the computer, typing furiously to my blog. And if I seem oblivion, I apologise. But, I do know the truth that "O" levels are coming, and my death is nearing. The day right after the last day of out National Day holiday, will be out English Orals... And to worsen things, we have our Chinese O level results revealed that day. GOodness me, they are really killing 2 birds with a stone. Crash my confidence and secured my failure in the English oral.

Dead, I am...

ANd now, I am left with nothing but a pile of troubles and miseries. Only songs can save me from the devilish abyss of SchOoL...
作詞:AlAi 作曲:アッチョリケ 編曲:鈴木マサキ 唄:YURIA


零れる微熱 高鳴る鼓動
一度気付いた 消せない想い




優しい台詞 それだけで






Lyrics: AlAi Compose: Acchorike Arrange: Masaki Suzuki Vocal: YURIA
mune ni daku kimi eno kotoba
itsuka tsutaetai na

koboreru binetsu, takanaru kodou
hajimari wa wakaranai kedo
ichido kidzuita, kesenai omoi
uso niwa mou dekinai kara

deaeta no ga arifureta guuzen dato shitemo
tokubetsu na imi wo kanjiteru

kimi no soba ni irareru koto wo
itsumo kamisama ni kansha desu
mayoi no nai kimi no yokogao
zutto nagameteitai

kimi to futari sugosu jikan ga
yuruginai chikara wo kureru yo
fui ni ukabu kimi eno kotoba
itsuka tsutaetai na

wazuka ni fureru atatakai yubi
yasashii serifu, sore dake de
yume no tsudzuki wo miteiru you na
fushigi na kimochi ni nareru yo

moshimo itsu no hi ka otagai wo miushinattemo
mata nando demo meguriaeru

kimi no taisetsu na omoide ni
douka watashi mo imasu you ni
mita koto nai kimi no sekai wo
motto wakete hoshii

kimi ga negau koto no subete wo
amasu koto naku kanaetei yo
shinjirareru kimi no tame nara
nanni demo kawareru

--sore wa iromeku hana no youni
tooku sakihokoru monogatari
kesshite kie wa shinai neiro ga
kaze ni nosete hibiku--

kimi to futari sugosu jikan ga
yuruginai chikara wo kureru yo
inori komeru kimi eno kotoba
fukaku todoku you ni

Lyrics: AlAi Compose: Acchorike Arrange: Masaki Suzuki Vocal: YURIA
These words I hold for you within my heart,
I hold I can tell them to you someday.

Almost feverish as my heart beat faster,
I had no idea what that feeling was at first.
But once I realized it, I can no longer erase my feelings.
I can no longer lie to myself.

Even if meeting you was just a trite accident,
I can sense a special meaning to it.

I give my thanks to god everyday,
For letting me stay beside you.
I want to keep looking at you from your side,
Your profile is always without a trace of hesitation.

The time I spent alone with you,
Gives me unwavering strength.
Unknowingly these words for you came to my mind,
I hope I can tell them to you someday.

A slight touch of your warm fingers
And some words of kindness were all it took.
Almost like watching a dream's continuation,
These strange feelings form within me.

Even if we ever lose sight of each other one day,
We will surely meet again no matter what.

I pray that I'm in your precious memories.
I've never seen before the world you are from,
But I want to know more about it.

I want to grant you everything that you wish for,
And not a single bit less.
I trust you with my heart,
For you, I will change myself into anything.

--Like the colorful flowers,
A story is blooming far away.
The colors that will never disappear,
Ride on the wind and resound--

The time I spent alone with you,
Gives me the strength to support me.
These words filled with prayers for you,
I hope they reach deep into your heart.


Tuesday, August 02, 2005


Darkness filled within me, all the lights and feelings are squeezed out. What can I do?

Running Away From Everything.

Hiding From All The Things.

Wising For A Star To Fall.

Hoping To Step Away.


Impetuous is Me.

Monday, August 01, 2005


Blogging again. Nothing special happened today. Just that I saw a dead bird(i think it is dead) lying, or rather sitting, in the middle of the road.

I was hoping to get a glance and sit down at "Edo Sushi" today, eating the Japanese food. Shu Jun and me were going to have our a/maths tuition at 3.30pm and since the sch ends at 2.00om, why not? Damn the bus, waiting to rot there talking about Destiny's and Strike Freedom's wings. Finally the bus came.

We reached the destination almost at 3.00pm, and we were told that it will be closing. After all that preparations for eating a good meal and looking at the delicious menu? It was hell. Anyway, I get to eat MacDonald's... YeaH~~

The new tuition centre has a super antique lift, which has been there ever since I was 5 (and im 15/16 now). It is not about how old it looks or the desire for new things. The lift was old, ancient, primitive and most of all slow and warm. It can take 1 minutes to reach the 3rd floor. Standing in the warm and slow lift for a whole minute? You'll be cooked before you are out. And what if the lift broke down? 3RD FLOOR, mind you. I can get to the 3rd floor within seconds, but the staircase is eerie (bad for health in this sEaSonN). They should really change it, if they have budget. =(

Government is imposing the banning of smoking in public areas by nxt year July. "YEahHH!!~~", for non-smokers. "WHAt The HELl?? I WIll Die wiThout CiGaretTes!! FuCK**** !#$%^&*", (supposedly) for smokers. It's a good thing for non-smokers and the people. Singapore will have more old people nxt time, since we dun die of second-hand smoking and lung cancer and not blamed for air pollution, and perhaps have more money since we dun spent on CigarettesS.

The kopitiam would have had the worst-off scenario. No people would go there and take a puFF or PufFS. They will go and eat curry PuFFs.

Do I sound sacarstic??? Oh well, can't change, a habit. And i dun wish to change.

When will I be studying instead of doing blogging and watching animes? PatheTic LiFe. It seems as if the more people are asking me to do, the more I will not do and will shirk the responsibility. Even though I know of the consequences, my hand will never work. Is this what Procrastination is? Wonder why people invent such word. If not for them, there would be no procrastination in this fucking world. =(

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