Wednesday, September 27, 2006


I like history.

THe past.

Because the past has been written, it cannot be changed and I can only accpet it.

While the future? Full of mystery and uncertainties, not my cup of tea.

Hence I hate future, and to me, my future is uncertain and not beautiful at all.

I admire the past and wished to know more about it, and do not know where to start from and how to touch it.

I borrowed a book from the library, about the History of Europe.

Very interesting. However... I do not understand half of what it was talking about, obviously telling me that I lacked the foundations to even read it.

I suppose if it is really true, I lack the foundations.

Europe's history is linked with the Middle East and well, jesus and whole lotsa things. What paleolithic, neolithic... Paleolithic is the time where ppl supposed to be the using of unpolished metals where hunters used, and neolithic is the time using polished and unchipped metal used for farming.

I wonder if I said correctly.

Oh and, something about Byzantine(is this how it's spelt?) period. Linked with Eastern Roman Empire. Not sure of the rest...

And the language used in Europe:
Greek in Roman Empire
and English

I onli know the first language used in the old Roman Empire, I cant remember the rest of the languages used in what empire.

WHy is there so many empire? I dunno...

And if i can get to university, probably I should study history? Haha, sounds like an impossible future full of aspirations when I can tell you that it's definitely a dream within a dream.

Besides that Europe's history boook, I have 3 more books "How to Draw" and "The photoshop CS2 Help DeskBook" and "Learning ActionScript 2.0". The first 2 books mentioned were borrowed, the last was bought.

Hope I can read them........ especially ACTIONSCRIPT, the nemesis of all animation students! ok fine, only my nemesis.

I read a phrase of word recently that said something about make the things that make u bitter better... Exact phrase is forgotten.

It was seen with the phrase of words I chose while in tuition last year "No one could predict to what height you can Soar. Even you will not know until you spread your wings."

It was motivating phrases.


Lost my interest in writing again, I guess Im cant grasp what im thinking into writing. I sux. My brain is full of cross wires whihc confused me whenever Im htinkin of things.........

I hate myself. and Im missing a whole lot of life. my life is meaningless. i should not be born and eat and compete food with those people who needed them MORE.

i sux


I wanna change the skins.... of the blog. But how do I exactly change it, without knowing the html and the slicing? I've got the main design for the whole thing, but ... I heard that you need to slice it and blar blar blar. And whats with the html? I got no clues at all.

I just wanna get a whole new fresh look here, white and clean, not BLACK and dull. bleh.

Whatever~~ Im having a very slight headache. One that will come fast and go fast. I think my blood has something wrong, or my brain's the one that has the problems. Whenever I wake from my sleeping position, the headache comes, something like the inability to transfer (is this the right word? I think im feeling sleepy...) blood to the brain and will cause stroke. Weird~~

Oh yar, the main theme of this entry should be: SoreZore no Life.

The exact translation? Im not so sure either... I think it's everyone's life.

I get these weird feelings whenever I read about people's life on blog or internet or other sources, and not contraint to just read, knowing includes as well.

When you are sitting in front of your laptop, knowing how other people live their life... I feel insignificant. THe feeling "The world is sooooooo BIG". ANd all sorts of question comes into my head. EG: wad is the person living there doing? how is the life there? is the surrounding good? is there any huge news going on down there?
blar blar blar

really insginificant. and small.

somehow, I feel like Im the one wasting time reading other people's life while trying to compare mine and theirs and feel inferior and perhaps superior?

and this leads to another question: Is blogs meant for inferiority and speriority?

that's a stupid and lame question that no one in their right mind would think of, except my problematic head...

normally, if you think that your life is your own to hold, there's nothing wrong with other pppl reading it, and definitely there's no inferiority nor superiority.

unless, someone like me who feels terribly unconfident of her life and future...


somehow, i do not know how to continue this... forget it, this entry sux~ on to my history part

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